Manifesto

I read this piece at last night's Bedtime Stories.

Keeping up with the Jones -es has gone too far. It is an activity for those lacking imagination. My dad told me that there is a recession, and that we have to cut back. He is right, but for the wrong reasons. I think we value the wrong things in life. Getting an iPod Shuffle for Christmas is not as important as Matt Beverly thinks it is. We do not need videogames, or highlights for our hair, and I refuse to believe that getting a manicure is necessary before each CYO dance – especially since everyone just wears jeans anyway. We have been taught to lead lives of bourgeois excess. But we are young, and can still change.

It’s too late for our parents, the petty bourgeoisie. They have built entire lives and careers on one-upping each other, and looking like they know what they’re doing. I figured this out when my dad bought a new television, even when ours was just fine, just because it was a flat screen. He needed my brother to show him how to use the remote. My brother is nine. It isn’t just a problem in my family. My mom says that Bobby Cartica’s dad started his whole construction business just to spite his brother, who got into college. She says that he feels superior because he makes more money, even though he dropped out of high school. This is called class warfare, because the rich people are always trying to make the poor people feel bad, like when my mom heard that Mrs. Tierney gets new appliances every two years, even when they aren’t broken. She shouldn’t be upset that we can’t afford such waste. But, my parents, like all of yours, were taught to be materialistic, rather than introspective.

Karl Marx said that “the theory of Communists may be summed up in a single sentence: Abolition of private property.” When he said this, he wasn’t trying to steal stuff, but to free the proletariat from the iron hand of the bourgeoisie. He wanted the people, like you and me, to change the world so as to make it better for themselves. His ideas are called Marxism. Marxism is different from Communism, because Communism doesn’t work. They do it in China, but really it’s Totalitarianism, and it’s bad, because they make inferior products and steal jobs from Americans. They also steal American jobs in India, but that’s called outsourcing. I learned that when my mom tried to call the cable company, and I had to sit on the phone while she was waiting for her turn. It was a very bad connection, and our cultural differences made it hard to understand how to restart our DVR.

As students here, we already wear uniforms. This makes us united in a way that encourages teamwork, as well as discouraging gang colors. I think that Marx was right about a lot of things. I do not advocate stealing from one another, but instead working together for a greater good. We can free ourselves from the rampant consumerism of our bourgeois parents. Instead of demanding more things, like for Christmas in a few weeks, we should demand something else – freedom, equality, communism. If we refuse to become cogs in the machine of commerce, freeing ourselves from the shackles of our parents’ misconceptions, we can set an example that could become a revolution. There is nothing to lose but our chains. We have a world to win.

STUDENTS OF THE SEVENTH GRADE, UNITE!